These men are experts - do *NOT* try this at home

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These men are experts - do *NOT* try this at home


"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake.  But i was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors
in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.  Tomaszewski, and
his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for
emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our
gerbil, in," he explained. " As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon",
my cue that he'd had enough.  I tried to retrieve Raggot but he
wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match,
thinking the light might attract him.  At a hushed press conference, a
hospital spokesman described what happened next.  "The match ignited a
pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot up the tube, igniting Mr
Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to
the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of
gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a
cannonball."  Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken
nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and
second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.


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