Top Ten Changes In STAR WARS: THE POLITICALLY CORRECT EDITION *

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Top Ten Changes In STAR WARS: THE POLITICALLY CORRECT EDITION *


10. Uncle Owen forced to give 'droid procurement contract to 
    Tusken Raiders to satisfy local affirmative action directives.

 9. Princess Leia sues Darth Vader for sexual harassment after 
    he "probes" her in humiliating detention cell incident.

 8. Violent lightsaber duels abandoned in favor of spirited game of 
    Parcheesi.

 7. Words "hairy oaf," "fuzzball," and "walking carpet" replaced 
    by the phrase "follicularly-gifted sapient non-human individual."

 6. Restoration of long lost Dagobah male-bonding scene in which Luke, 
    Yoda and Ben's spirit sit in a circle and bang drums while Yoda 
    recites a poem he wrote about "the saber in the belly."

 5. Vader now described as "twisted and evil*not that there's anything 
    wrong with that!"

 4. Members of Galactic Union of Astromech 'Droids refuse to fly in 
    rebel X-wings unless granted full co-pilot status and a separate 
    cockpit to protect them from enemy fire.

 3. Emperor Palpatine's line "Now, young Skywalker, you will die" 
    changed to "Can't we all just get along?"

 2. Construction of second Death Star falls even further behind 
    schedule when inspection reveals total lack of accessibility for 
    "differently abled" Imperial minions.

 1. "Aren't you somewhat vertically challenged for an armed ambassador 
    of our current government's military-industrial complex?"


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