Answers To Every Woman's Questions About Men

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Answers To Every Woman's Questions About Men


1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we
men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the 
average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and 
it's not  ust from all the bitching and nagging we have to 
endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

 2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE OTHER WOMEN?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that
all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met 
you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at 
not getting caught.  I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic 
memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorise it for later 
reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our 
memory by staring as much as we can.

 3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him
happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just 
an added bonus.

 4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

 5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you
open it you get into trouble with your partner.

 6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
Well, we don't actually have to. We do it because we enjoy it.
It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in 
so much of the world nowadays.

 7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand
that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how 
we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing 
some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our 
foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache 
whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

 8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
Please. How many hours do you think there are in a day? We
oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) 
can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... 
Need go roam...Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeast... Now 
sitting on our backsides for hours on end on the other hand is a 
whole other story.

 9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR BACKSIDES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by
evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without 
getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in 
one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The most 
successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods 
of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety 
types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers. The end result is 
that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say 
that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men 
consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own 
character faults.

11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
Ho, ho, ho. Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure
fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still
works quite well.

12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of 
your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you 
will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy 
for other things.

13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides,
we know darn well you'll pick it up.

14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way
to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, 
it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended 
periods of time gives us stomach cramps.

15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to 
go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and 
hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Er, buying.


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