Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

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Dilbert's Words of Wisdom


1.  I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
     Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

 2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing
     sound they make as  they go flying by.

 3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

 4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

 5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a
     parked car.

 6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be
     solved through a
     suitable application of high explosives.

 7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get
     along without it.

 8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some
     days you're the statue.

 9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he
     isn't there the first time you need him, chances are 
     you won't be needing him again.

10. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a
      perception problem.

11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in
      the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck 
      is the ceiling?!"

12. My Reality Check bounced.

13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on
      the escape key.

14. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
      butter.

16. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz, like,
      you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

17. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

18. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to
      their level, then beat you with experience.


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