The best chain letter of all time.
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The best chain letter of all time.
Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual
activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal
electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion fucking
forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you
send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer
brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the
big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of
her for use on their child pornography web site will get 6 fucking
cents every time you send me the letter. Do you honestly believe
that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his"
email to $1000?
How fucking stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down
this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret
model in the catalog! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically,
this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have
nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment
and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was
started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll
be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak
of blatant stupidity.
Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about
90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards.
Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!
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Entered on: 09/24/1998
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Allegedly perpetrated by:
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Alfonso obviously doesn't understand netscrap. Who is this guy anyway?
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