Stupid Criminals

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Stupid Criminals


Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter
and asked for change.  When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided.  The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.  The total amount of cash
he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at
you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  Seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.  The whole event was
caught on videotape.

New York: As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran.  The clerk called 911 immediately and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher.  They put him
in the car and drove back to the store.  The thief was then taken out
of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.  To which he
replied, "Yes Officer..that's her.  That's the lady I stole the purse
from."

Ann Arbor:The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order.  When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast.  The man, frustrated, walked away.

Florida: A thief burst into the bank one day wearing a ski mask and
carrying a gun.  Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F---UP!"  For a moment, everyone
was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it
and doubled over laughing.  It probably saved his life, because he'd
been about to draw his gun.  He couldn't have drawn and fired before
the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large.  
In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall 
engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a f---up!"


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