WARNING: Bad Times Virus found online

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WARNING: Bad Times Virus found online


If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete 
it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the MOST DANGEROUS Email 
virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it 
will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It 
will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your 
ice cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on 
all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the 
tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any 
CDs you try to play.  It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new 
phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will 
drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table 
when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you 
are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear 
only static while stuck in traffic.  Badtimes will make you fall in 
love with a hardened pedophile. It will give you nightmares about 
circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair 
with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your 
back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will 
seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is 
the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully 
those things we hold most dear. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm 
disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer 
plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantontly 
remove the "forbidden to remove" tags from your mattresses and pillows, 
and replace your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It 
is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting 
shade of mauve.

These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.


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