You might be an X-er if...

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You might be an X-er if...


You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up
 into a pouch you could wear around your waist.

 You remember when Jordache jeans were cool.

 In your fifth grade class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with
 the collar up

 You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song

 The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories

 You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark".

 Three words: "Atari"  "IntelliVision" and "Coleco".   Sound familiar?

 You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for
 the weekend"

 You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV

 A predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid"

 While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate
 plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "999"
 by Prince over and over again

 You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was

 You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van. You rode
 in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.

 You've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant
 slut."

 You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you
 really understand that it would have been much better had you known
 about drugs at the time.

 You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following
 phases:
 - "When I was younger"
 - "When I was your age"
 - "You know, back when..."

 Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the
 English language

 You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD
thing,

 You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran,
 Madonna,or Cyndi Lauper video

 The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during "Crazy
 for You" by Madonna

 You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the
 streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete.

The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.

 Honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever
 possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.

 (girls) you thought Sean Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted after "Ted,
your ship's photographer" on the Love Boat

 You freaked out when you found that you now fall into the "26 - 50"
 age category on most questionnaires

 Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which
 can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting"

 This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life:
Star  Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the
 creatures are WAY cool.  Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in
 early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special
 effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of
 every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the
 theaters...you are now a teenager, and you cannot get your eyes off
 Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt.

 You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the
 last five years, okay?

 You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that
 maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad
 idea after all

 You're doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major

 You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon

 U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now

 You ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation

 You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the
 first scene.

 You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or
Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man

 You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding (on General
 Hospital)

 You remember "Hey, let's be careful out there"

 You're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided
it  was pointless since Quincy got all the babes, anyway.

 You know who shot J.R.

 This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie.  They work for me."

 You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar.

 You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on, after all, look at
 Tab.

 You know all the words to the double album set of Grease.

 You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut

 You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed
"8-6-7-5-3-0-9"  to see if Jenny would answer.

 "All-skate, change directions" means something to you.

 You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.

 You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history
 class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times as
 Ridgemont High.

 You owned a preppy handbook.

 You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to
settle  for second hand reports.

 You remember when there was only "G, PG and R", none of this PG-3
 crap.

 You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry
 the emotional scars to this day.

 Wonder twin powers, activate!  Form of a an iceberg, shape of a
hammer

 You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and
 you had to move the selector switch accordingly.

 SOME ADDITIONS:

 You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search
 Of..."

 The ABC After School Special "My Mom's Having A Baby" actually taught
 you stuff you didn't know.

 Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized"
 packages of Bazooka gum.

 Bo and Luke Duke.

 VCR's cost $,000.

 There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together.

 Rotary dial telephones.


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