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You might be an X-er if...

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You might be an X-er if...
You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist. You remember when Jordache jeans were cool. In your fifth grade class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark". Three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar? You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend" You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV A predominant color in your childhood photos is "plaid" While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "999" by Prince over and over again You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you. You've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut." You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time. You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phases: - "When I was younger" - "When I was your age" - "You know, back when..." Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing, You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna,or Cyndi Lauper video The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during "Crazy for You" by Madonna You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete. The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter. Honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON. (girls) you thought Sean Cassidy was "dreamy", lusted after "Ted, your ship's photographer" on the Love Boat You freaked out when you found that you now fall into the "26 - 50" age category on most questionnaires Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting" This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life: Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the theaters...you are now a teenager, and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt. You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay? You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all You're doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon U2 is too "popular" and "mainstream" for you now You ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene. You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding (on General Hospital) You remember "Hey, let's be careful out there" You're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes, anyway. You know who shot J.R. This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me." You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar. You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on, after all, look at Tab. You know all the words to the double album set of Grease. You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed "8-6-7-5-3-0-9" to see if Jenny would answer. "All-skate, change directions" means something to you. You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear. You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times as Ridgemont High. You owned a preppy handbook. You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to settle for second hand reports. You remember when there was only "G, PG and R", none of this PG-3 crap. You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day. Wonder twin powers, activate! Form of a an iceberg, shape of a hammer You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly. SOME ADDITIONS: You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search Of..." The ABC After School Special "My Mom's Having A Baby" actually taught you stuff you didn't know. Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized" packages of Bazooka gum. Bo and Luke Duke. VCR's cost $,000. There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together. Rotary dial telephones.
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Entered on: 06/06/1998
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