MAN CAUGHT BY HIS CATFLAP

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

MAN CAUGHT BY HIS CATFLAP


"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my house 
via the catflap," Gunter Burpus admitted to reporters in Bremen, 
Germany.  "I suppose that the reason they're  called cat flaps, rather 
than human flaps, is because they're too small for people, and perhaps 
I should have realized that."  Burpus (4), a gardener from Breman, was 
relating how he had become trapped in his own front door for two days, 
after losing his house keys. 
 
"I  got my head and shoulders through the flap but became trapped fast 
around the  waist.  At first, it all seemed rather amusing, I sang songs 
and told myself jokes.  But then I wanted to go to the lavatory.  "I 
began shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my screams 
were muffled.  After a few hours, a group of students approached me 
but, instead of helping, they removed my trousers and pants, painted my 
buttocks bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks.  Then 
they placed a sign next to me which said 'Germany resurgent, an essay 
in street art.  Please give generously' and left me there. 
 
"People were passing by and, when I asked for help, they just said 
'Very good! Very clever!'  and threw coins into my trousers.  No one 
tried to free  me.  In fact, I only got free after two days because a 
dog started licking my private parts and an old woman complained to 
the police.  The rescue services came and cut me out, but the police 
arrested me as soon as I was free.  Luckily, they've now dropped the 
charges, and I collected over DM 13,000 in my underpants, so the time 
wasn't entirely wasted."


----- End NetScrap(TM) -----