The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route

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The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route


15> Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco.

14> Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents.

13> One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear.

12> Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable
    Bic lighter.

11> Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after "s'mores"
    party got out of hand.

10> Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of
    the urinal at the last rest stop.

 9> First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to "receive
    the baton."

 8> Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a case
    of Bud and a supersoaker.

 7> Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC -- appears0 minutes later in
    Atlanta.

 6> Drive-by goosings.

 5> Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the "Chariots
    of Fire" theme.

 4> Torch-jackings in urban areas.

 3> Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new Olympic
    Bong.

 2> Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for directions.


and the Number  Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route...


 1> Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, "No, I meant a BUD light!"


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