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The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route

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The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route
15> Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco. 14> Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents. 13> One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear. 12> Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable Bic lighter. 11> Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after "s'mores" party got out of hand. 10> Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of the urinal at the last rest stop. 9> First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to "receive the baton." 8> Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a case of Bud and a supersoaker. 7> Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC -- appears0 minutes later in Atlanta. 6> Drive-by goosings. 5> Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the "Chariots of Fire" theme. 4> Torch-jackings in urban areas. 3> Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new Olympic Bong. 2> Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for directions. and the Number Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route... 1> Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, "No, I meant a BUD light!"
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Entered on: 06/06/1998
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