Funny Snippets from Conan O'Brien's monologues

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Funny Snippets from Conan O'Brien's monologues


"In a recent survey, 86 percent of college fraternity members 
admitted that they've had at least five drinks in a row. The 
other 4 percent were out cold."
     
     
 "Prince is selling his Beverly Hills mansion for $3.5 million.
Realtors are advertising it as the house formerly owned by the 
artist formerly known as Prince."
     
     
 "It's been reported that John Bobbitt's porno movie grossed over
0 million. I'm not sure whether that's dollars or people."
     
     
"Scientists have discovered a Chinese herb that cures alcoholism 
in hamsters. They're hoping that it will cut down on the number 
of accidents they have on that little wheel."
     
     
 "That man who posed as a woman during a /2 year marriage was
sentenced yesterday to a one-year jail term. Something tells me 
his days of acting like a woman are not quite over."
     
     
"Michael Bolton said yesterday he now wants to become an opera 
singer. Which is great, because now my Dad and I can hate the 
same kind of music."
     
     
"The price of Prozac went up 50 percent last year. When Prozac 
users were asked about it, they said, 'Whatever.'"
     
     
 "A new study reveals that guests on daytime talk shows are
predominantly female. Of course, most of them weren't born that 
way."
     
     
 "Eighty-three percent of Britons say they forgive Princess Di
for her infidelity. Apparently, the other 7 percent have never 
gotten a good look at Prince  Charles."
     
 "Computer genius and billionaire Bill Gates' wife is pregnant.
Gates explained, 'Don't let the name Microsoft fool you.'"


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