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Oscar Epic

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Oscar Epic
Person 1: I've been on a movie-blitzkrieg lately - trying to see all the nominated films in time for the Oscars. I saw Titanic last Sat., Good Will Hunting last Sunday, As Good As It Gets last night. Tonight I'll probably see LA Confidential. I'm wagering with my boss who the winners will be. I am focused on the BIG things - the important things, anyway. Person2: I want to see them all together in a single epic: As Good as Good Will Hunting Gets for Mrs. Brown on the Titanic, Confidentially. Helen Hunt (whom I now loathe) is an idiot obsessed with teaching math to a roup of LA policemen who decide to take a cruise together dressed as Queen Victoria. The ship strikes an iceberg and is unharmed, but the rest of the passengers -- tortured by the Queen imitators and especially Helen Hunt's insistence upon teaching all how to factor binomials--steal a bunch of hammers and knock a hole in the side of the ship themselves. They die happy. NB: Leonardo DiCaprio appears in the opening scene, ostensibly as the hero, but chokes on a frankfurter and, crying out "I want my mommy, I want my mommy NOW", spends the rest of the movie off-camera, locked in the infirmary.
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Entered on: 03/19/1998
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