Things I've learned from my children

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Things I've learned from my children


If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape.
  
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
  
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
late
  
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it 
  
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a6
year old man says they can only do it in the movies
  
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it
does not leak - it explodes
  
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4
inches deep
  
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old 
  
Super glue is forever 
  
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know 
  
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water
  
Pool filters do not like Jello 
  
VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do
  
Always look in the oven before you turn it on 
  
The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5 minute response time
  
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy
  
It will however make cats dizzy 
  
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy


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