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More Profound Thoughts

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More Profound Thoughts
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... ...Every morning is the dawn of a new error... A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... The beatings will continue until morale improves. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Look out for #. Don't step in #2 either. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. Dain bramaged. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. <-------- The information went data way --------> Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 00% compression The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding The name is Baud......, James Baud. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) E Pluribus Modem ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F to continue. Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven. Hit any user to continue. Disk Full - Press F to belch. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer? Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN. Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
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Entered on: 05/19/1998
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