New Element Discovered

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

New Element Discovered


The heaviest element known to science was discovered
    recently by physicists at the Naval Research Laboratory in
    Washington, DC.  The element, tentatively named
    Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an
    atomic number of 0.  However, it does have 1 neutron, 125
    assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice
    neutrons.  This gives it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312
    particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that
    involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
    called morons.

    Since it has no electrons, Administatium is inert.
    However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes
    every reaction it comes in contact with.
    According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
    Administatium caused one reaction to take over four
    days to complete, when it would normally occur in
    less than one second.

    Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately
    years, at which time it does not actually decay, but
    instead, undergoes a reorganization in which assistant
    neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons
    change places.  Some studies have shown that the atomic
    weight actually increases after each reorganization.
    Research at other laboratories indicates that
    Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere.  It
    tends to concentrate at certain points such as
    government agencies, large corporations, universities,
    and the United Nations.  It can actually be found in
    the newest, best maintained buildings.

    Scientists point out that Administatium is know to be
    toxic at any level of concentration and can easily
    destroy any positive reactions where it is allowed
    to accumulate.  Attempts are being made to determin how
    Administatium can be controlled to prevent irreversible
    damage, but results to date are not promising.


----- End NetScrap(TM) -----