Skiing mishap

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Skiing mishap


A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind
of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.  Conditions were
perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over.
The "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was
in dire need of a restroom.  He told her not to worry, that he was
sure there was relief at the top of the lift in the form of a powder
room for female skiers in distress.  He was wrong, of course, and the
pain did not go away.

If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know
that a temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters. So with
time running out, she weighed her options.

Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that
since she was wearing an all white ski outfit, she should go off in
the woods. No one would ever notice, he assured her.  The white will
provide more than adequate camouflage.  So she headed for the tree
line, began disrobing and proceeded to do her thing.  If you've ever
parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and
a wrong way to set your skies so you don't move.  Yup, you got it. She
had the skies positioned the wrong way.

Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing
moments. Without any warning, the woman found herself skiing backward,
out of control racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them,
and on to the slope.  Her derriere and the reverse side were still
bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed
all the while she continued on backwards, totally out-of-control,
creating an unusual sight for the other skiers.

The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back under the lift,
and finally collided violently with a pylon.  The bad news was she
broke her arm and was unable to pull up the ski pants.  At long last
her husband arrived, put an end to her nude show, then went to the
base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her
to a hospital.

In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with a broken leg
was put in a bed next to hers.

"So, how'd you break your leg?"  She asked, making small talk.

"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said "I was riding up
this ski lift and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes.  There was this
crazy woman skiing backwards out of control down the mountain with her
bare bottom hanging out.  I leaned over to get a better look and I
guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved.  I fell out of the lift."

"So how'd you break your arm?"


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