A Story To Live By

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A Story To Live By


My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's
bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he
said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the
tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk,
handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag
with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8
or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a
special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He
took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other
clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered
on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the
drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for
a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special
occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days
that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all
the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought
about them on the plane returning to California from the
Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought
about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done.
realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about
his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more
and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the
view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm
spending more time with my family and friends and less time
in committee meetings.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience
to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments
now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our
good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing
a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia
blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like
it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out
$28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm
not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in
hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function
as well as my party-going friends'. "Someday" and "one of
these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's
worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and
do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had
she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all
take for granted. I think she would have called family members
and a few close friends. She might have called a few former
friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I
like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner,
her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know. It's those
little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing
good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.
Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended
to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell
my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love
them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save
anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And
every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that  it is
special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a
gift from God.

If you've received this it is because someone cares for
you and it means there is probably at least someone for
whom you care. If you're too busy to take the few minutes
that it would take right now to forward this to ten people,
would it be the first time you didn't do that little thing
that would make a difference in your relationships? I can
tell you it certainly won't be the last. I don't have to
make up silly stories about people being hit by buses or
crushed by falling disco balls for not sending this letter
on. You've seen the result of this neglect in your own
relationships that you have allowed to fade, dissolve, and
fall into disrepair. Take this opportunity to set a new
trend. Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you
them. It's even better if they're not the people you
already correspond with every week. The more people that
you send this to, the better luck you will have. And the
better you'll get and reaching out to those you care about.


I know maybe 2% of you, and there are *alot* of you!
But I care for everyone, and I wish everyone will be able
tolearn to live in the moment and cherish it and take the
risks and say "I love you" or "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you"
or "I appreciate you," to people they might take for granted,
not see often, hold a grudge against, or simply have as a
close friend or colleague.

Self Care means giving and getting and attracting all the
love and good one can in their life, for it leads to success
and prosperity and true happiness. If you have people who
you care about and whom you might just wish to share this
letter, forward it to them or send them a copy. You will be
giving them a gift that is free yet priceless.

All the Best To You All,

Dennis


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