WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE 'FREE' SOAPS WHEN TRAVELING

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WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE 'FREE' SOAPS WHEN TRAVELING


Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-size Dial. Please remove 
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine 
chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my 
way. 
Thank you,
S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from
her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish 
as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way 
and put on top of the Kleenex dispenser in case you should change 
your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my 
instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I 
hope this is satisfactory. 
Kathy, Relief Maid
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Dear Maid,
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you 
about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I 
got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little 
Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be 
here in the hotel for 2 weeks and have brought my own bath-size 
Dial so I wont need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. 
They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please 
remove them.
S. Berman
------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps 
which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap 
dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet 
for your convenience. I did not remove the 3 complimentary soaps 
which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet of all new 
check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in 
last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further 
assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
--------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you
called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will 
accept my apologies for this past inconvenience. If you have 
any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my 
personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. 
Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
--------------------------

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
business at 745AM and do not get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. 
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those 
little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned to me must have 
thought I was a new check-in today, since she left me another 3 
bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular 
delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I 
have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to 
me?
S. Berman
--------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your
room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
---------------------------

Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-sized Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from 
my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night 
and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
--------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap 
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room 
since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time 
they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. 
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience. 
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
--------------------------

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last
night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars 
of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize 
I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath-size Dial. 
Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
--------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing 
so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken 
and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't 
know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously you maid, 
Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 
24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know here you got the 
idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate 
some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
----------------------------

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up to date on my latest soap 
inventory.

As of toady I possess:
- On shelf under medicine cabinet
 - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On Kleenex dispenser
 - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
- On bedroom dresser
 - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet,
 - 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory,
 - 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside medicine cabinet
 - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- In my shower soap dish
 - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On northeast corner of tub
 - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- On northwest corner of tub
 - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks 
are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks 
of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my 
bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot 
for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased 
another bar of bath-size Dial which I am keeping in the hotel 
vault to avoid further misunderstandings.


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