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sander@chromatic.com
from xenon.chromatic.com
id AA19480; Tue, 10 Dec 96 22:36:01 EST
from quasar.chromatic.com ([140.174.118.36]) by xenon.chromatic.com (8.7.5/8.7.3) with SMTP id TAA27913; Tue, 10 Dec 1996 19:35:44 -0800 (PST)
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Date: Tue, 10 Dec 1996 19:35:46 -0800
To: humor@chromatic.com, ron-l@centerline.com
From: Sander Pool
Subject: [Fwd: Oracle Xmas Party e-mail]
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Length: 12512
this seems like something that has been around the block a few
times (apparently it happened in '94) but I hadn't seen it yet.
Here goes. Scroll to the end for the meat.
>How many of you know people at or fomerly at Oracle??? Read on...
>
>> Date: Wed, 04 Dec 96 14:39
>> From: jc@bcpllc.com (Jim Cardillo)
>> To: doug@pbi.net
>> Subject: Oracle e-mail
>>
>> Well, here's a copy of the infamous Oracle E-mail.
>>
>> For those of you who haven't heard, a woman at Oracle sent the attached bio
>> out on all of her eligible friends via e-mail. The purpose was to get them
>> hooked up w/dates for the Christmas party, and it subsequently made its way
>> around the entire company. Of course, Larry Ellison eventually got it, and
>> the
>> shit hit the fan.
>>
>> Apparently, she almost got fired. I heard about this this weekend, and
>> today, someone else forwarded it to me. I have included all of the
>> forwarded messages to give a sense of how many times this thing got
>> forwarded. Very funny.
>>
>> Good women are hard to find. But not at Oracle. Make sure you read the
>> forwarded messages too...WL
>>
>> Why can't I find any women like these???
>>
>> ----------
>> Look what our friends at Oracle are up to these days...
>>
>> ----------
>>
>> From: schmitt@vitesse.com@Internet(MENLO PARK-GATE1)
>>
>> Oh, man. I can't believe this chick. Read all the forwards too, kinda cool.
>> ----------
>> Hey guys,
>>
>> This is pretty funny:
>>
>> ---- Begin Included Message -----
>>
>> Get a load of this. It's worth reading the forwarding messages. And yes, I
>> do know the author of this message (but not THAT well)
>>
>> Amy Umpleby
>> Multimedia Specialist, New Media Applications
>> Oracle Corporation
>> aumpleby@oracle.com
>> 500 Oracle Parkway phone: (415) 506-9193
>> Box 659504 fax: (415) 506-7103
>> Redwood Shores, CA 94065 modem:
>> (415) 413-3098
>>
>> -----------------------
>> Date: 05 Aug 96 16:31:39
>> From:"Hector Osorio "
>>
>> To:aumpleby,kattubat
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> Here's the infamous Oracle Party message...
>>
>> Hector I. Osorio Oracle Corporation
>> Senior Technical Staff 500 Oracle Parkway
>> Oracle Media Applications Development
>> MS-659504, Office# 456
>> New Media Division Redwood Shores, CA 94065
>>
>> E-mail:
>> Voice:(415) 506-2616 Fax:(415) 506-7103
>>
>> Date: 05 Dec 94 04:45:06
>> From:"Michael Lin"
>> MLIN.US.ORACLE.COM>
>> To:hosorio,nbhutani,jazure
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> Hector, This might be of interest to you...
>>
>> Michael Lin
>> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
>> EMAIL: mlin=@oracle.com PHONE:415-506-3213
>> LOCATION: 500 OP328
>> -----------------------
>> Date: 05 Dec 94 12:23:58
>> From:"Judith Sim, Technical Marketing
>> (415)506-5234"
>>
>> To:mlin,suwalsh,elogsdon,mavilez,pyiu
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> Can you guys believe this? Marvin?
>>
>> - Judy
>> ------------------------
>>
>> Date: 05 Dec 94 04:03:20
>> From:"Lauren Ames x5327"
>>
>> To:laura,jsim,mzirelli,kgainey,nnorman,jkeavney
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> No way.
>>
>> Lauren Ames
>> Senior Manager, Multimedia Programs
>> Oracle Corporation
>> (415) 506-5327
>> ---------------------------
>>
>> Date: 05 Dec 94 11:48:33
>> From:"John Kurtz"
>>
>> To:rcrowley,pbuscemi,bstill,lames,akraaijv,psenator
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> just another day at Oracle.
>>
>> John Kurtz
>> phone 415-506-5286
>> fax 415-506-7801
>>
>> ----------------------
>>
>> Date: 05 Dec 94 10:26:47
>> From:"Neil Monnens, Advertising"
>>
>> To:jkurtz
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> -------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 17:00:38
>> From:"Martha Hill
>> "
>>
>> To:neil
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> neil, you won't believe this one. read the
>> attached message
>>
>> Regards,
>>
>> Martha Hill
>> Hardware Buyer
>> (415) 506-3484 - Direct
>> (415) 506-3231 - Hardware/Software Hotline
>> (415) 506-1102 - Fax
>>
>> ----------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 16:59:40
>> From:"Vikki Lira"
>>
>> To:mahill,steph,lynn
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>> Reply-to:VLIRA
>>
>> check this out
>>
>> Regards,
>> Vikki Lira
>> Buyer
>> 415.506.3491
>> 415.506.1102
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 15:44:37
>> From:"TCARRARI.US.ORACLE.COM"
>>
>> To:mmoye,nhuening,eestess,kswanson,vlira, mphillip
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> Unbelievable...
>>
>> Read on.
>> -------------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 14:41:40
>> From:"Melissa Rouse "
>>
>> To:aklein,edruker,jwheeler,rskarste,tcarrari,cmacdona,sfacey,skduvall,
>> jbrush
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> I can't believe this is a real person...
>>
>> Thank you,
>>
>> Melissa Rouse
>> Account Executive
>> DMD Eastern Region
>> 415-506-8455
>>
>> -----------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 15:11:32
>> From:"Mark Cusumano "
>>
>> To:melissa,fiend,greg
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>> Reply-to:mcusuman@oracle.com
>>
>> are you kidding? lance, read on....
>>
>> Regards,
>> Mark Cusumano
>> Support & Documentation Sales
>> 415.506.5265 (Phone)
>> 415.506.7674 (Fax)
>>
>> ---------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 15:05:10
>> From:"Peter Newell
>> PNEWELL.US.ORACLE.COM"
>>
>> To:gburkhol,mcusuman,gloos,labrown,peanders,tdurnin
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>> Cc:jgislaso
>>
>> Just in case you guys are still looking or don't want to take your
>> girlfriends.
>>
>> Thanks,
>> Peter Newell
>> Support Sales
>> 415-506-5182
>>
>> -----------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 11:26:21
>> From:"Jamie Lev "
>>
>> To:pnewell,mhartley@attic.portal.com
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> Jamie Lev
>> Contract Specialist
>> 415-506-6958
>> Fax 610-1601
>> ----------------------------
>>
>> Date: 02 Dec 94 08:30:43
>> From:"Anthony Castellino"
>>
>> To:jlev,tsutherl
>> Subject:Fwd: Just in case the pipeline breaks...
>>
>> This girl is the cheeeeeeeeeeeesiest
>>
>> Tom-
>> in case things don't work out with lynn..
>>
>> Jamie-
>> in case dana dies in a plane crash.
>>
>> Thanks,
>> Anthony Castellino
>> Direct Response Representative
>> Ext:(415)506-5739
>>
>> Los Dojores and Atlanta are playing at 8. San Diego has a day game around
>> 4. Everyone else is traveling. Apparantly Larry himself got a hold of this
>> note and she didn't get canned. She still works here.
>>
>> DO NOT PASS THIS UP...ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE....YOU WOULD BE A FOOL TO
>> DENY
>> *********************************************************************
>> GENTLEMEN,
>>
>> Assuming you are all in the prime of your bachelorhood, I am going to offer
>> a proposal concerning this year's Christmas party.
>>
>> NOTE: If you have a "girlfriend", I do apologize, but it's time to break up
>> with them and get on the bigger and better things.
>>
>> For starters, I would like my friends to go to the X-mas party on December
>> 17th. I am positive in saying you would enjoy the company of well-mannered,
>> well-dressed, intelligent young females, correct? And you all deserve only
>> the best. This is why I am suggesting that you eligible young feudal
>> knights
>> ask one of my friends to the party. This is the perfect chance to meet
>> some
>> of the most desirable women in the Bay Area in a comfortable and classy
>> environment.
>>
>> You would not have to deal with those nervous, anxious, twitching fits
>> which
>> often occur when you are around good-looking women because you would be in
>> the comfort of you own work atmosphere, plus I will be there to hold your
>> hand and guide each one of you through this.
>>
>> Seriously, it is something to think about. Plus you have all seen me and my
>> friends are even better looking than I am, if you choose to believe that.
>> It's the perfect set up.
>>
>> These are a few of whom I would like you to accompany to the event. Below
>> is a detailed description. Some of you have met these young honeys.
>>
>> MICHELLE STEIN - She is a 5'9 Anglo-Saxon with long blond hair, stunning
>> eyes and delicious long legs. She prefers you call her "Stein". She's great
>> fun and always willing to smoke a bowl or just bullshit with you. She can
>> drink a lot without puking and occasionally enjoys a Marlboro Light 100
>> (fair warning). She does not have a serious boyfriend, aids, and is an
>> active heterosexual.
>>
>> ADRIA GIACOMELLI - She is a stunningly gorgeous Italian-American with a
>> darling stylist short hair cut. She reaches approximately 5'5 in height,
>> and pow, body is like6'-24'-36'. She's got booodddeee and dresses like
>> she
>> knows it. She does have a boyfriend but what does that mean anyway.
>> Besides,
>> he is far away, one of those long-distance things. You all would be fools
>> to
>> pass this one up. She too drinks aggressively without puking and very
>> often
>> chain smokes. She is crazy but worth every bit of it.
>>
>> AFSOON MOHKTARI - Don't let the name frighten you. She is beautiful. A lot
>> of you know her and she will probably be the first to go, so respond
>> quickly. She lives is LA and works as a successful Account Specialist for
>> a
>> popular PR firm in Century City. She is exotic looking, has a thin frame
>> and dresses with the upmost in style and class. She would be a fabulous
>> date. She doesn't talk too much and laughs at most funny things. Her height
>> is 5'7 and she has dark wavy shoulder length hair. She drinks, smokes very
>> little, and smiles a lot.
>>
>> JILLIAN GUERRA - She is the type of woman you would want to be with on a
>> deserted island (in high school she won desert island companion), put it
>> that way. SEX, SEX, SEX, she is just like me. She is beautiful, sexy, and
>> entertaining all in one package. All you have to do to have this Italian
>> Stallion is ask (I
>> mean ask to the party). She is 5'5 in height, short brown hair, full lips,
>> and booty for days (I mean that in a good way for all you white boys). She
>> is currently a non-smoker, due to a throat problem earlier this year.
>>
>> JEANETTE BARACCO - She also is Italian, upper part of Italy, the
>> fair-complected Italians, but she's not that much of a snob. In fact, she
>> will have you rolling in tits and laughter all night. She is probably the
>> most amusing mother fucker in the whole pack. She smokes and smokes and
>> smokes but it does not change how good she looks. She is 5'7 in height and
>> her blond hair falls ever so softly around her radiantly pretty face. If
>> you
>> want to kick it and have fun, this one's for you. She has a man, in
>> Compton,
>> so I wouldn't mess around.
>>
>> BERNADETTE DIEPENBROCK - She is the youngest of 12 kids and the craziest,
>> best-looking, most intelligent, loudest,...I could go on but I won't. She
>> is
>> good for anything. Besides her good looks and sexy 5'10 frame this 25 year
>> old blond will have you stuttering nonsense all night. In fact, I am not
>> sure if any
>> of you could even hang with her. I might have to ask LJE if he would like
>> me
>> to hook him up with an untamable lion like Bernadette.
>>
>> J-MONEY - She is taken care of, unless you can persuade her to drop the
>> Model/Freak of the Week from Sacramento she was going to ask for a better
>> offer.
>>
>> All jokes aside, this proposal is worth thinking about. We could get
>> together as a group, get a room, pre-party, party, post-party. It could be
>> a
>> lot of fun.
>>
>> Let's do this! Please be in touch regarding this email. You may reach me
>> at
>> work or at home Of course, you may also respond via email.
>>
>> Be in touch. - Jacklyn
>>
>> ----- End Included Message -----
>>
>> ----- End Included Message -----
>
>
----- End NetScrap(TM) -----
Entered on: 05/10/1998
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