Highlights from the Harvard University Orientation for New Employees

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Highlights from the Harvard University Orientation for New Employees


Category  A.
Vague, Understated Descriptions of Harvard:

   1) "Harvard is very big and very old."


Category  B.
Theoretical Benefits of Working at Harvard:

   1) "Unfortunately, you won't be able to collect any of your Harvard 
Life Insurance benefits until after you're dead... which (um) I 
suppose isn't really a  'benefit,' is it?"

   2) "Now on to the Disability Coverage portion of the program.  
 --lecturer sighs--
(aside to crowd)
Sorry, I didn't realize that this was sounding so morbid until just now...
Death, Disability,and Termination:  Welcome to Harvard everybody."


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