Gerbil

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Gerbil


"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was
only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused
doctors in the  Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his homosexual  partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone
seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard  tube up his rectum and
slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki
shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to
retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the
tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At
a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a
flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and
severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the
intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski
suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the
gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his
anus and  lower intestinal tract.


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