A Few Short Jokes

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A Few Short Jokes


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The teacher had given the class an assignment.  He stresses the 
importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be 
accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the 
immediate family (with a note from that member).  A smart-ass student 
pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"  The class 
breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds 
with:

"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."

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This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed 
laughing and singing.  Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees 
her.  He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on 
earth are you doing?"

She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the 
breasts of an eighteen-year-old."  She starts laughing and jumping 
again.

He says, "Yeah, right.  And what did he say about your 65 year-old 
ass?"

She says, "Well, your name never came up."

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Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob.  They load up Jack's 
station-wagon and head north.  After driving for a few hours, they get 
caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and 
ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night.  
"I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors 
will talk if I let you stay in my house."  "Not to worry," Jack says, 
"we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."  Nine months later, Jack gets a 
letter from the widow's attorney.  He calls up his friend Bob and 
says, "Bob, do you remember that good looking widow at the farm we 
stayed at?"  "Yes, I do."  "Did you happen to get up in the middle of 
the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?"  "Yes, I have to 
admit that I did."  "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling 
her your name?"  Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I 
did."

"Well, thanks a lot, pal...she just died and left me her farm."


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