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"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "REHAB is for quitters" "I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!" "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep" "E. coli Happens" "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...." "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian." "Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!" "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you." "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS." "Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!" "Friends don't let Friends drive Naked." "No Radio - Already Stolen" "Where there's a will, I want to be in it!" "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" "Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!" "Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!" "IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got. " "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better." "Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill." "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!" "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear." "We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?" "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot." "He who laughs last thinks slowest" "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." "The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette." "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated." "3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't." "Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy."
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Entered on: 04/25/1998
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