Very Quotable Quotes

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Very Quotable Quotes


Power corrupts, but absolute power is really neat.
 -- Ex-Navy Secretary John Lehman


I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.  
-- ``A Bit of Fry and Laurie''


Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same.  
-- Oscar Wilde


The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"


I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.  
-- A. Whitney Brown


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.  
-- William James


The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words,
there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but
government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
-- From an article on the growth of federal regulations in the
     Oct. 24th issue of National Review


Half of the people in the world are below average.


There's so much comedy on television.  Does that cause comedy in the
streets?   
-- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate


I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.


If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there are men on base.  
-- Dave Barry


Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a
mistake when you make it again.  
-- F. P. Jones


On a tombstone:  "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"


Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 
2. Advising the President. 
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.  
-- David Letterman


Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself.  
-- Mark Twain


Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they
don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the
world.
Hobbes: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?


Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea):  For best
results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm
iron. For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles,
blow-dry on roofrack.


The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.  
-- Salvador Dali


When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an
important lesson to be learned.  Do not have sex with the
authorities.
-- From "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" in ``Life In Hell''
   by Matt Groening


"Time's fun when you're having flies."  
-- Kermit the Frog

"Time flies like a rocket; fruit flies like a banana."


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