the following _may_ be an urban legend

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

the following _may_ be an urban legend


The KKK is endorsed by Procter and Gamble, who also supports the
satanists, and who sold Mrs. Field's cookie recipe to Neiman Marcus
for $2,000 after the kiddie tatoos laced with LSD that were supposed
to be used for satanic ritual abuse at that day care center in
Beaufort were mistakenly eaten by the choking doberman who was bitten
by the snake that came out of the fur coat that was worn by the
escaped homicidal maniac whose hook prosthesis was found hanging from
the door of the car of the teenagers who high-tailed it out of a
lover's lane when they heard that he had escaped and then went to the
pot party where the kids who were supposed to be babysitting got high
on marijuana and were so stoned they accidentally put the baby in the
oven instead of the turkey that makes you sleepy because it contains
tryptophan because the microwave was ruined by the exploding poodle
that the girl with the beehive hairdo that turned out to contain
roaches who had gotten an automatic "A" at college because her
roommate had committed suicide had put in to dry after it had gotten
wet chasing the vanishing hitchhiker who had tried to warn the girl
that her insides were cooked because she had stayed too long under the
sun lamp at the local tanning salon while her dad poured a load of
concrete into a new convertible parked outside of the house because he
thought it belonged to a guy who was having sex with his wife but was
really a prize he had won in a contest at that radio station that
played rock records that contained hidden commands and subliminal
messages planted by the Jews, international bankers, the Trilateral
Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Illuminati, the New
World Order, multinational corporations, right wing militias, Jerry
Falwell, the Christian Coalition, Planned Parenthood, and the spooks
at Hanger 18 of Area 51 in Dreamland who performed the autopsies on
the aliens who crashed at Roswell, New Mexico while on a mission to
abduct people and conduct weird sexual and reproductive experiments on
them because they knew we use only ten percent of our brains and that
engineers had "proven" that bumblebees can't fly and that sugar wakes
you up even if you're a CIA agent who has recovered memories about
conspiring with organized crime and anti-Castro extremists to kill JFK
with a magic bullet, and then killed dozens of other people whose odds
of all dying within the period in which they did are infintesimal even
if you don't count their near-death experiences in which an angel
guided them to the light before they were called back because it
wasn't time for them to die like Mikey from the Life cereal
commercials did after eating Pop Rocks(R) candy when his friend Alice
Cooper who was Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver woke up after a one
night stand in a hotel only to find that the girl he was with was gone
and had written "Welcome to the world of AIDS" in lipstick on the
bathroom mirror which terrified him because he knew that it is just as
easy to get AIDS from heterosexual intercourse as it is from
homosexual sodomy with an IV drug user because when the US government
created AIDS to commit genocide against blacks who aren't adversely
affected by the minimum wage with the aid of Korean grocers who don't
give anything back to the community they knew that Anne Klein had said
on the Donahue show that she didn't want blacks buying her clothes
because when the poison they put in that fried chicken at Church's so
The Rich could keep the poor down because they can't be rich if nobody
is poor there would be a massive coverup like the Philadelphia
Experiment or the carburetor that can allow a car to get 100 mpg in
perpetual motion just like Nikola Tesla had done a hundred years ago
using the same principal that Uri Geller uses to bend spoons and
psychic friends use to give you valuable insights that improve your
life for amusement purposes only while smoking a cigarette that has no
more been proven to give you cancer than evolution has been proven to
occur because it's only a theory and there are no transitional fossils
and it violates the second law of thermodynamics unlike creation
science which is not religious and fear of irradiated food which is
rational because we know it's bad just like the assault weapons that
are more dangerous than other semi-automatic weapons because they look
scary and ugly and they're ok to ban because the second amendment
wasn't meant to preserve the rights of individuals against the state
like the other nine amendments in the Bill of Rights but instead is
the only amendment designed to protect the state against individuals
because if there is no effective way to keep guns out of the hands of
criminals the next best thing is to keep them out of the hands of law
abiding citizens and make sure only the state has them because
countries where the state doesn't permit its citizens to own guns are
never oppressive and the government doesn't become arrogant and
intractable and corrupt because the government can improve our lives
by suspending the laws of supply and demand to make prices fair and
deciding how many people of each race and sex should be in colleges
and jobs which is good because when control of everyday life is
centralized in the state the people who get to make the decisions are
never capricious or highhanded or make decisions favoring their
friends and family and people who pay them money because if only we
can get the right people into positions of control it will be safe to
let them run things because smart people can figure out how to
allocate resources and what fair prices are for goods and services and
labor and who should be allowed to do what much more efficiently and
constructively than just letting millions of people make their own
decisions about what they should eat or drink or smoke or for whom
they should work for under what conditions for how much money on what
schedule based on their own perceptions concerns and plans in
accordance with their best interests.

But I digress . . .


----- End NetScrap(TM) -----