Important Public Service Announcement

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Important  Public Service Announcement


Due to increasing products liability litigation, American 
liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion 
that the following warning labels be placed immediately on 
all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering 
what the hell happened to your bra. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you 
are whispering when you are not. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in 
dancing like a retard. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell 
your friends over and over again that you love them. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think 
you can sing. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe 
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 
four in the morning. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you 
can logically converse with other members of the opposite 
sex without spitting. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you 
have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your 
ass kicked. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll 
over in the morning and see something really scary. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of 
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion 
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking 
than most people. 

WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe 
you are invisible. 

WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think 
people are laughing WITH you. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance 
in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem 
to literally disappear. 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.


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