:   Netscrap(TM)   :   Microsoft   :   Netscrap #93   :  

If Microsoft Headquarters was in Alabama...

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If Microsoft Headquarters was in Alabama...
1. Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders." 2. Instead of an hourglass icon, you would get an empty beer bottle. 3. Occasionally, you would bring up a winder that was covered with a hefty bag and duct tape. 4. Instead of "Yes," "No," "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aww-right," "Naw," or "Git" 5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos. 6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse. 7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you would hear a digitized drunk yelling "Freebird!" and "Roll Tide." 8. Instead of "Start Me Up," the Winders '95 theme song would be "Sweet Home Alabama" followed by an introduction from Hank Williams Sr., Elvis Presley, and Paul "Bear" Bryant. 9. Power Point would be "Par Pawnt." 10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishual Basic" and "Vishual D-" 11. Winder '95 Logo would incorporate the Confederate flag. 12. Instead of "VP," Microsoft's big shots would be called "Cuz." 13. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am. 14. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver. 15. "Flight Simulator" would be replaced by "Tractor Pull Simulator." 16. Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates. 17. Direct link to WWW (World Wide Wrestling) Home Page.
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Entered on: 04/07/1998
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