:   Netscrap(TM)   :   Fun   :   Netscrap #821   :  

New Barbies

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

New Barbies
Now, at long last some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with the more realistic process of aging gracefully. 1) Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too)! Neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2) Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With hand held fan and tiny tissues. 3) Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. 4) Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus with tummy support panels are included! 5) Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. 6) No More Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics. 7) Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. With mini van in robins egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch. 8) Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Comes with real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." 9) Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat. 10) Post Menopausal Barbie. Poor Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, she comes with the book, "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self."
----- End NetScrap(TM) -----
Entered on: 06/04/1999
Send it: Claim it:
Copy and paste this into an email to a friend. We can make it easy for you. Mail it off with the Netscrap(TM) MailTool. Did you do this? Do you own it? Can you prove it? Netscrap.com's mission is to reunite jokes like this with their creators. Take credit for your fine work.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
75 Chars Wide
HOME FEEDBACK SITE MAP FAQ TERMS OF USE
We're testing ads. Send feedback if you have opinions about this.
Original music update daily:

Please visit our sponsor!