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The One Sentence Story

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The One Sentence Story
There once was a small boy named Wallace who lived in a small town which was so small that no one bothered to name it, and this plenty much confused the small boy named Wallace who one day stumbled upon a secret cave hidden by a fallen tree which was chopped down by a 34 year old man who's 4th grade teacher's childhood friend was great-great grandmother to a small boy named Wallace who once climbed into a secret cave and discovered a hideous monster which roared in his face, causing him to run away and tell many people who didn't believe him, mainly because it was an unbelievable story as was the one told by Griffin Rasten, the tallest man ever to fall in love with Lucy White, the grand mother of Harrison Fistle, best friend of Joe "Growl" Donoven, a bully which once teased a small boy named Wallace who went back to a secret cave and faced a hideous monster, which soon realized that the boy meant business and decided that fighting with him wasn't worth it and let the boy passed the hideous monster into a room full of delicious chocolate which the boy sold 50 cents per piece and became rich off of and sold some to a man that was missing an arm, because twenty years ago, on a bright yet stormy day, there was a man that met a woman named Brenda who he fell in love with and married two months later on the same day that Mary Amber fell into a hole in her back yard that had been put there by a giant slug that for three years had been tunneling under the city of Bardon which was named after a man named Harry Bardon who ate a pie made by a woman who was great-great-great grandmother to a woman named Brenda that married a man and had a boy that grew up to be a soldier, and shot an arm of a man who later had it amputated and then bought chocolate from a small boy named Wallace who’s mother once threw a penny into a wishing well that was built by a mysterious news reporter that secretly possessed incredible powers that he used to uncover truthful yet unbelievable stories for his job which he inherited from his father who once trivided an angle with only a straight edge and compass but got amnesia and lost all his work in a fire that also caught on to a neighbor’s house and nearly killed their dog, Carter, who once befriended a cat who once befriended a mouse that once befriended some cheese and then ate it along with some water that dripped from a pipe owned by Mr. Chars, your mother’s second grade teacher’s fifth grade teacher’s cousin who was grandfather to Thomas Fosen who once though he invented cold fusion, but discovered it was only lukewarm and went swimming in order to take his mind off his failure, but was eaten by Todd, a local lake monster that had been seen only twice before by Jared Sockpuppet and Kathleen Bryant, a skilled guitarist who played in secret for the president of the United States on the same day that Marvin Ecclesbarry decided to go to the end of the rainbow, but never made it because rainbows are actually circles that are created by raindrops working as prisms in the sky; in fact, the rainbow faded before Marvin even made a revolution; his face is still on milk cartons today, especially ones in his hometown, Datranisburg, where a man married a woman and had a child that married a woman and had a child that met a man and had a small boy named Wallace who sold a piece of chocolate to a rich lady that married a man who’s uncle was a machine gun toting mailman who embarrassingly forgot to load his gun when attempting to rapid fire up the office and was arrested by a policeman who once complimented a woman on her beautiful baby that grew up to be a small boy named Wallace who once sold a piece of chocolate to a man who spent his free time pushing rollerbladers and drawing trapezoids on x-rays of his teeth taken bye his dentist who owns a website all about his wacky adventures in semi-existent worlds of pink panda’s and flowers (he never did shake off his psychedelic…ness) where he met his fellow hippie known as "Mr. Swinger" who now spends his free time trying to escape his straight-jacket, put on him by a man that once jumped really, really high in the air, returning with a bloody nose, due to the high pressure, and raced to the bathroom to get some tissue, stepping on a bug that once carried a man suffering a heart attack to the hospital, where he was treated by Dr. Toohappy (an insane asylum escapee) and taken home by Mr. Toosad (a depressed, dejected, old man) and then returned to his loving family (the occupants of a rat’s nest and a dog that could be dead for days before you realize it), who he met the day he moved in, the same day Marcus Pilit memorized what D.N.E. stood for, which was Denouement of a Narrative and Ending, which means what it is spelled backwards, which is END
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Entered on: 06/05/1998
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