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More bumper stickers

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More bumper stickers
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. I love animals, they taste great. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free? He who laughs last thinks slowest! All generalizations are false. We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse. Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Nuke the unborn gay baby whales for Jesus! Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. If you are psychic - think "HONK"
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Entered on: 05/14/1998
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