:   Netscrap(TM)   :   Trivia   :   Netscrap #372   :  

Suggested additions to Webster's

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

Suggested additions to Webster's
Assignment: Use the words provided below in sentences. Did you see that PETONIC DIMP DISCONFECT that candy some PUPKUS? Yuck! BUZZACKS commonly suffer from PHONESIA and TELECRASTINATION, which is the number one affliction of PEPPIERS worldwide. While displaying my AQUADEXTROUS abilities, I tripped in the tub and soon met a couple of ACCORDIONATED ECNALUBMA drivers. Vegetarians like me respect a burger's right to BURGACIDE, but will not tolerate LACTOMANGULATION because it is a completely unnecessary practice. The housekeeper's brain could be likened to NEOPHANCY, because she saved all the FRUST she came across in a jar, yet refused to participate in the wholesome act of CARPERPETUATION. An annoying couple of EIFFELITES experienced extreme ELBONICS when they recalled their failed attempt at ELECELLERATION. Suggested additions to Webster's ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n.. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. DIMP (dimp) N. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?" DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n.. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. PETONIC (peh ton' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
----- End NetScrap(TM) -----
Entered on: 05/12/1998
Send it: Claim it:
Copy and paste this into an email to a friend. We can make it easy for you. Mail it off with the Netscrap(TM) MailTool. Did you do this? Do you own it? Can you prove it? Netscrap.com's mission is to reunite jokes like this with their creators. Take credit for your fine work.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
75 Chars Wide
HOME FEEDBACK SITE MAP FAQ TERMS OF USE
We're testing ads. Send feedback if you have opinions about this.
Original music update daily:

Please visit our sponsor!