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The Bean Story

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The Bean Story
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing effect on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry he thought to himself, she is such a sweet and gentle girl she will never go for this kind of carrying on. So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up his beans. They were married shortly after. Some months later his car broke down on the way home from work. Since they lived in the country he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a small cafe and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he had several miles to walk, he figured he would work off any ill effects before he got home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving he had eaten three large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt putted and after arriving felt reasonably safe that he putted his last. His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and explained delightedly, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded him and led him to a chair at the head of the dining room table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold the telephone rang. She made him vow to not touch the blindfold until she returned, then went to answer the phone. He seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud but ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him.. Thingshad just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a true prize winner. While keeping his ears on the conversation in the hall, he went on like this for ten minutes, until he knew the phone farewells indicated the end of his aloneness and freedom. He placed his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it and smiled contentedly to himself. He was the picture of innocence. When his wife returned, apologizing for taking so long she asked if he had peeked and he of course assured her he had not. At this point she removed the blindfold and there was to his surprise 12 dinner guests around the table for a "Happy Birthday" party for him!
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Entered on: 05/11/1998
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