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A Few Short Jokes

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A Few Short Jokes
---------------------------------------------------------------------- The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?" She says, "Well, your name never came up." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's station-wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that good looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did." "Well, thanks a lot, pal...she just died and left me her farm."
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Entered on: 04/25/1998
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