:   Netscrap(TM)   :   Film   :   Netscrap #212   :  

The Five Yorkshiremen: The Next Generation

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

The Five Yorkshiremen: The Next Generation
Y1: Who would've thought that we'd be on a ship that could separate in times of battle and keep most of the crew safe? I remember when the whole ship used to go to yellow alert every time we entered an ion storm. Y2: You were lucky. We had to go to double yellow alert whenever the captain fell into an obelisk, came out thinking he was a god, and married an Indian woman. Y3: You were lucky. We had to go to yellowish-red alert every time a woman came on board and stole the first officer's brain. Y4: You were lucky to have a woman on board. We had to go to red alert when we were attacked by a mutant salt creature disguised as a woman. Y5: Luxury! We had to go to double red alert every time the captain found an overloading phaser in his quarters. Y1. Oh, we used to dream of having an overloading phaser in the captain's quarters. We had to go to triple red alert every time the blood- sucking gas cloud got into the ship through impulse vent number two. Y2: You were lucky. We had to go to quadruple red alert, blow up our own ship, steal a Klingon bird of prey (which doesn't even have a red alert), go to Vulcan to revive the dead captain, go back in time and get two whales, come back and crash land in San Francisco Bay, all on a Klingon triple black alert. Y3: We could only hope for something like that. We had to go to quintuple red alert, infiltrate Paradise city, fight a triple-breasted cat-whore, get captured, crash a shuttle into the shuttle bay, get brain washed, penetrate the great barrier in the center of the galaxy, find ShaKaRe, and fight an evil deity from aboard a Klingon ship every time Spock's brother showed up. Y4: Ha! Sounds like shore leave! We had to go to hextuple red alert after we invited Klingons to dinner and then were accused of firing photon torpedos at their ship, surrender to the Klingons, stand trial in a Klingon court, go to a Klingon penal colony, kick an alien in the nuts, kiss an alien woman, escape the magnetic shield, beam back to the ship, ignore Federation orders, go to septuple red alert (on two ships), fight a vessel that could fire while cloaked, barge into a Federation peace conference, kill an assasin, and arrest half of the Federation officers every time the power station on a Klingon moon exploded! Y3: And if you'd try to tell that to these young officers today, they wouldn't believe you. Others: Nope. No they wouldn't.
----- End NetScrap(TM) -----
Entered on: 04/23/1998
Send it: Allegedly perpetrated by:
Copy and paste this into an email to a friend. We can make it easy for you. Mail it off with the Netscrap(TM) MailTool. Originally-From: aurenz%tle.DEC@decwrl.dec.com (Scot Aurenz, zko2-3/n30)

Got any more information about this? Add to the story.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
75 Chars Wide
HOME FEEDBACK SITE MAP FAQ TERMS OF USE
We're testing ads. Send feedback if you have opinions about this.
Original music update daily:

Please visit our sponsor!