:   Netscrap(TM)   :   Fun   :   Netscrap #131   :  

Various Jokes

----- Begin NetScrap(TM) -----

Various Jokes
A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking." "Great!" the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get started?" --------------------------------------------------------- The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" ---------------------------------------------------------- "My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth." "Really? What did he get?" "Fifteen years for theft." ------------------------------------------------------- A man sits next to another on a plane, and introduces himself, "My name is Bond, James Bond." The other replies, "My name is Damme, Van Damme, Claude Van Damme,Jean Claude Van Damme." ---------------------------------------------------------- A diner was agitated that the waiter had brought him no spoon with his coffee. "This coffee," he said loud enough for most of the other patrons to hear, "is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers.". The waiter reddened, made a hasty retreat to the kitchen and returned shortly with another cup of coffee. "This one isn't so hot, sir," he beamed. ----------------------------------------------------------- Aunt Billie, a stewardess on a local airline, was giving the standard safety briefing to the passengers. She had just finished saying 'In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device,' when a man remarked, "Hey! If the plane can't fly, why should I believe the seat can float?" -------------------------------------------------------- A man with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."
----- End NetScrap(TM) -----
Entered on: 04/20/1998
Send it: Claim it:
Copy and paste this into an email to a friend. We can make it easy for you. Mail it off with the Netscrap(TM) MailTool. Did you do this? Do you own it? Can you prove it? Netscrap.com's mission is to reunite jokes like this with their creators. Take credit for your fine work.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
75 Chars Wide
HOME FEEDBACK SITE MAP FAQ TERMS OF USE
We're testing ads. Send feedback if you have opinions about this.
Original music update daily:

Please visit our sponsor!